👩‍👦"Why NOT To Spank Your Kid"

(5 Minute Read) The case against corporal punishment and understanding how it doesn't solve the deeper issue!

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I was talking to a coworker the other day, and somehow we got on a discussion of spanking kids. He was on the side of, 'Oh, I wish I could spank these kids, and they would listen.' My eyes kind of popped open, and I was shocked by what I heard. I asked, why!? 😳 He said he turned out good. This made me think, why is this such a common answer? Every time I hear about a parent saying spanking is okay, they always bring up and say they turned out fine.

However, when I really think about it, spanking never actually solved the issue. I challenged him and said, 'So, after you got spanked as a child, were you a perfect child after that?' Of course, he said no. Then I asked him, 'Did you ever get spanked again after that first spanking?' He said, 'Of course I did.

Then I was confused because if spanking really worked and you turned out fine, why weren't you a perfect child and never needed to be spanked again? Have you ever thought about when you were a child? Why you were spanked? Or if you remember why you were spanked, did you ever think that it worked out in a way where you never needed to be spanked again?

Odds are if you got spanked once, you probably got spanked multiple times. So, did this really solve the issue, or is it just a short-term fix, leaving you with a long-term issue? Or, as I like to say, are you just trying to solve the symptom without addressing the actual problem? But before we continue, check out the sponsor that we love below.


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A great example of solving a symptom but not the actual problem is when you go to the doctor feeling sick, coughing, and sneezing, yet not feeling quite right. There have been many times where this simple thing would have been dismissed as just a cold or flu. However, if you only focus on the symptoms, do you know how many diagnoses actually fit under this description? There are numerous conditions that can cause someone to cough and sneeze, such as allergies, illness, or even a more serious underlying issue like a virus or rare immune disease.

If you rely solely on treating the symptoms, and the doctor prescribes medication, yes, your cold might go away. But if there's a deeper issue like a virus or a rare immune disease causing these symptoms, simply treating the cough and sneeze won't address the root problem. You might find temporary relief, but the underlying issue remains unresolved, leading to a cycle where the symptoms keep returning, and you continue trying to alleviate them with medication without addressing the core problem.

I've been really thinking about spanking because when my coworker brought this up, he was talking about how he wished he could spank the 15-year-old students I had, and I was shocked. At first, I had to say no, I wasn't gonna let him touch my students. But second, I was just perplexed by why he thought this was normal. The deeper I went into thinking about why people spank, I had to agree and realize that in the short term, it does fix the symptoms. Maybe if someone's doing something bad, or improper, a simple spanking could scare the kid and they won't do it. Because now they're just scared or they were about to touch something and you spank them and now they stopped.

However, not once did it actually teach the kid what not to do. The child just scared in that moment and stopped, only to turn around and repeat the same problem? Have you ever noticed where you give your kid a consequence, but because you never explained it, they do it again literally in a week, or a day, or even an hour? So yes, in that moment, you scare your kid and they don't do what you don't want them to do. But the problem keeps on coming up.

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By: Leslie Hannans

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That's why, as gentle parents, we suggest not to spank because you do get a short-term fix for the symptom. However, the problem will persist. How you can solve the problem though, is simply instead of quickly resorting to spanking, maybe you could ask some questions. Figure out why they thought this is okay.

I'm still on my journey of discovery, deep diving into why spanking is such a common phenomenon. And the first response to defend spanking is, 'I turned out fine.' Having a deeper look, I have to agree that it fixes the short-term symptom. However, the problem will still persist and pop up next week. And then the parent will be more frustrated.

So I will challenge you to maybe, instead of going first to yelling or spanking, start asking questions because maybe if your child thinks a tool is for something else and was never told how to properly use it, maybe they just need some guidance to show what it's actually for. Showing them a different approach to help them achieve their end goal.


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