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👩‍👦"How to Prevent Your Kids Explosive Tantrum"

How to Sidestep Kids' Tantrum Triggers

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Yesterday, I wrote about Dealing With Your Childs Explosive Tantrums. It's for those moments when you're in the store, and suddenly your kid starts a tantrum because they wanted something, and you said no. However, did you know that by taking a couple of steps before you enter a new environment, you can prevent it?"

Have you noticed that tantrums only happen when a child wants something they can't have? It got me thinking about what I do when I want something, like when I'm craving Crumble Cookies or Chick-fil-A and I forget that they close on Sundays 😭. I usually have to take a five-minute break for myself and mourn my loss of delicious food for that day.

Or let's say you are rushing to work, and you forgot something really important at home—maybe an important document, notes for a meeting with your boss, or, worst-case scenario, your coffee! In that moment when you walk into work and you remember, we often have a freak-out or start to worry, having our own little tantrum. But what if someone prepped us for this moment so that when we go in, we can be prepared?

You might have experienced it; maybe your coworker called you and reminded you to bring the documents, you set a reminder for the meeting and to bring your notes, or your partner reminded you to grab your coffee before you get in the car. You notice that preparations and reminders helped prevent your freak-out at work. Now, let's discover how we can prep our kids and give reminders to help prevent tantrums right after our quick ad.

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It looks like preparation and reminders are the name of the game. What that can look like is when you go out next time to the store with your kid, take a moment to prep them and explain the goal at the store. Let them know which items you're looking for. Then, inform them whether today is a 'looking day' or a 'buying day' for them. If it's a looking day, just tell them they are looking only, and if they want something, write it down on the list. We can use it for a buying day. If they help find all the groceries, we will schedule a buying day.

If it’s a buying day, tell them to bring their buying day list and pick one thing on the list, or you can give them a budget, and now they can practice budgeting. Before you go in, bring up that they can only have a buying day if they behave; if not, tell them we don't have to schedule a day then. The power of sitting down with your kid and prepping them is that you set up your expectations, you establish your boundaries, and then you keep your word, leading to less stress.

How this prevents tantrums is by ensuring they know what to expect. If they desire something, they can determine whether to buy it or add it to their list. With a budget in mind, they understand if it's affordable or if they should save for multiple buying days. Now, when you're in the store and they ask for something, simply inquire whether it's a buying day or a looking day. No longer will you have to say no, and a tantrum will pursue after.

*Please give a gentle round of applause too…*

This is Parenting

By: Leslie Hannans

This is Parenting: Demystifying parenthood is a fresh, new take on an old tradition, Parenting! For centuries, parents have engaged in a long tradition of parenting, based on how we learned. But, have we questioned our parenting techniques? Have we thought critically about what our actions can do to harm our children? This is exactly what This Is Parenting explores. We will dive into behavior modification, origins of modern parenting, skill acquisition, and more!

This is just one example I delve into, but with creativity, you can apply this approach to everything. The key is, when dealing with tantrums in a specific situation, establish your expectations, set your boundaries, and stay true to your word. If your child goes against an expectation, you must uphold your boundaries; otherwise, it becomes entirely ineffective. When you don't stick to your word, your child won’t take you seriously.

If you establish a boundary that if they don’t clean their room, they lose their phone for a day, you can’t give their phone any sooner. Most importantly, set a boundary and expectations when you are calm because when we are upset, we might impose unfair consequences on our kids accidentally. For instance, saying no phone for a month. Later, you might feel bad, and two weeks later, you give their phone earlier than expected, breaking your own word.

The last point is that this isn’t about controlling your kid; it’s about giving you freedom. When you set up fair expectations and boundaries, it’s no longer a battle between you and your kid. It's simply outlining the possible reactions based on their choices, allowing them to decide which option they want to happen.

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